Thursday, November 5

Candles by Araantonak on Deviantart

The song Fireflies by Owl City is really sweet. (: 
There's this part where it says 'when i'm far too tired to fall asleep'
Doesn't that make no sense? 

But then, come to think of it, people do that sometimes. 
On an oh-so-serious note, 
In this case, sleep is the solution to the root of the problem. 
And at times, people just don't do that certain thing that they need to get out of their problem.

I'm still in a bad mood. 
I'm really stressed about school. And i feel condemned i didn't do a good job so far. 
I had high expectations for this sem, but it's only the beginning and things are alr not good. 
Wait, my point was, yeah i'm in a bad mood so i will talk about something else. 
Instead of being boring and whiny. 

there's one thing that makes me switch off from the conversation. 
It's when you give me that 'universally correct' answer. 
Like i ask you something controversial, 
and you didn't even ask about details but just shove it in straight. 
then i won't listen to you. 
To comment without even listening is so unwise. 
Why will anyone do that? 
but yet, many people do that. 
Okay, sometimes i might not pay attention when people are talking either. 
But mostly, i will change once i notice it. 

Oh sowji observed this. 
usually with a new friend, when you ask her sth, 
she will usually confide in you. 
That's true isn't it?
All you have to do is to listen. 
For me, i'm less guarded against someone new. 
By default, you will receive a certain amount of trust.
Then we'll see how it goes. 

It's not easy to find someone who really pays attention to what you say.
-In a non corporate way of course. 
They either put their attention elsewhere, forget about what you said, 
Or best, some just give comments without even hearing you out properly, 
then turn every conversation into a jumping board for them to talk about themselves. 
that's how the trust will reduce. 
when i come across people like that, i know i won't trust them with my heart. 
They just won't care enough to hold it well, cos they care about themselves more.
In my opinion.

But, easier said than done. 

I've been telling my mum how much i want to have vocal and piano lessons. 
But there's this one thing on my mind i haven't told her.  
It's that i'm pretty sore she didn't nurture me when i was young. 
And she's unable to provide me the lessons now. 
Okay, i'm in a bad mood so pardon me. 
I tend to blame my parents when i'm unhappy. 
Like they werent ready for a family, neither are they now. 
If it were me, i'll have a family only when i'm ready. 
Financially, emotional, mentally, spiritually, things like that. 
Blahblahblah. i know people aren't perfect, and i'm no one to judge them. 

Okay moving on. 
I'm starting to listen more to Michael Jackson. 
and the more i miss him. 
It's such a pity. 
There was even this day when i woke up with a horrible feeling of loss. 
Or more commonly known that breakup feeling. 
From Memoirs of a Geisha,(just to reiterate, i watched it 5 times) 
There was this poem about loss, written on a rock. 
But the author scratched it out. 
'You cannot see loss, you can only feel it'
It strikes a feeling somehow. 

Okay, i will ask seowster(my mentor lol) about my work and what to do. 
Then i will get my ass moving, fix the problem and cheer up.  

(oh yes, the words in italics are back - they represent my romantic feelings!)
why did you capture my heart again? 
i'm convinced you are someone special. 
I missed you, 
Have you been busy? 

(and the words in bold are meant to be something that's either wise or funny or extra entertaining)
at the end of the day even if i don't get everything i want, i am still going to smile because i have everything i need

(why does this post seem like a tutorial to my blog?)

[xoxo] Made In Love

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