Thursday, March 4

Exhausted by Willy87 on deviantart

perhaps i should elaborate. 
it's no fun when someone talks in riddles 
but then again, i don't want to talk too much as if i know everything
someone who's wiser than me might scoff at me for acting smart
i'm insecure, self conscious and super afraid of judgements. 
actually all these are mostly within me, i judge myself. 
and now thinking about it again, that's pretty dumb 
i'm trying to get over it. i will. 

actually i don't feel like elaborating on that post. 
it's mainly fail after fail. 
i have no effing idea why it's so many FAILZXZ all at one shot. 
(if anyone reading knows why i always kena rejected, go on and laugh
and after laughing, perhaps tell me what needs to be done for me)
now all i want is just someone who has unchanging feelings for me. 
and is willing to just stand by me and be there for me, 
instead of nitpicking at little things in the relationship, giving me lots of heartache. 
my list for 'perfect boyfriend) don't matter as much now. anything goes! *
pathetic much?
(sorry, that was another uncalled for judgement upon myself. okay i realize it's not fun to be reading insecure shit from someone so i shall stop. btw, that was another judgement. ughhh! i should stop that! -if u actually do notice that i have been judging myself)

* T&C[to be further elaborated on the next post]

speaking about judging, i realize i kinda judge characters poorly. 
don't trust me. 

i just mentioned i was tired right 
now after venting, not so tired
and i'm back in the water.

Steps to be trapped in a vicious cycle: 
1) Do something 
2) Make mistakes
3) Get exhausted 
4) Self declare that you will never get involved anymore
5) Think about ways u can do with your life without that truck load of trouble and heartache. 
6) Feel better about life and get hopeful
7) Try doing the same thing again
8) Make another chunk of mistakes
9) Get exhausted once more
** Repeat 
10) Finally learn your lesson and do it right this time after 7292782 gazillion years. 
Mun Teng
Relationship Status:
In a relationship with
Jesus Christ

No comments:

Post a Comment